How do I behave around these people? I dont know how to act, advice please....?

My husbands nephew and his new wife, they live with my husbands mom and my husbands sister (his nephews mom). So we havent been able to bring our kids over to their grandmas house because of the nephew. The nephew hates my husband, so he hates me too. Like 20 years ago, my husband beat his nephews father up because the man was a wife beater and sent my hubbys sister to the hospital. So the nephew grew up hating my husband. The nephew is Satanic %26amp; dresses like it and is different than I am, The nephew found me on myspace and cussed me out and talked a bunch of crap to me, so now I dont even want to see him again (which is always on accident). So this is the first year we havent gone over there for Christmas, %26amp; I dont know how to behave when I cannot defend myself being on the nephews turf when the other family thinks he's an angel. He gives me dirty looks and makes me feel uncomfortable and he aimed a air gun at my pregnant stomach last pregnancy, Ive never even had a conversation with him. My natural instincts are to confront him and not let him back away from, but that would NOT be acceptable by his families expectations of me...he is younger, by 4 years than I am. I get his game, but I dont know how to act without him winning, like being a victim. If he gives me a dirty look, do I give him one back like I want to? My instincts tell me NO, because I dont want to make the problems worse...I just dont know how to go about dealing with this. Now my husband wants to kick his butt,,,and that just makes me more anxious, the family will think badly of my husband and even worse of me ';for causing it';....even though I didnt cause anything....its just lame.How do I behave around these people? I dont know how to act, advice please....?
The best thing I can think of is IGNORE HIM! When you see him look right through him. Try to get your husband to do the same. If his wife treats you the same then ignore her too. On the other hand, if she is friendly then try to get together with her w/out the family or the crazy nephew knowing and get to know her. she might be able to help her husband get past this.How do I behave around these people? I dont know how to act, advice please....?
just ignore him,u may want to fight back but u should learn to be more patient because God is in you..The more you show him that you are affected the more he is happy to do bad things which will make the situation worst. Forgive and forget...Time will heal all wounds. I myself also experience relatives of my husband, different kind of people. Some are good and some are not, yet i never lose the faith in God to make me patient at all times.As my husband told me once the saying : ';Think of difficult people as sandpaper. They may rub %26amp; scratch u painfully,but eventually u end up smooth %26amp; polished, %26amp; the sandpaper ends up worn out';..May God Bless u always!