GLBT people: I really need some help/advice?

I know I'm usually the one to give advice and answers here, but I'm going to let you all in to a little bit of my own vulnerability.





I'm severely depressed. I've been having a LOT of issues lately dealing with being trans and dating/sexual relationships. I feel angry, hurt, used, and other things I don't like. I've been left feeling shamed and dirty afterwards. I get annoyed with trying to explain it to people.





It's gotten to the point that I don't even want to deal with people. I don't even want to go out in public. I don't even want to talk to people. I definitely don't want to pursue relationships, because I know I'll just end up hurt and/or angry.





But I'm also tired of being alone. I'm tired of not having anyone to discuss my feelings with, not having anyone that can relate. Tired of keeping all my anger pent up inside. Tired of missing intimacy in my life.





I've been having suicidal thoughts, and I'm trying not to. But I'm also even tired of all THAT. I'm tired of dealing with psychiatrists, and medications, and everything. I'm really to the point that I feel NOTHING is going to help because NOTHING is ever going to change. I'm still always going to be trans, and people are still always going to be f**king idiots. I wish I had never been born.





What can I do? GLBT people: I really need some help/advice?
First, realize that you are not alone. While I am not trans, I still get those same feelings you expressed. Life really sucks at times, doesn't it?





I would totally hate anything to happen to you. You are a beacon of inspiration in this screwed up world. I hope you realize that. Reading your words over the past year has given me a lot of knowledge and insight.





While I can not touch on the relationship issues, I can touch on the personal ones. You are a wonderful man and any woman would be damned lucky to be with you. I know that she is out there. Just, maybe not in the area you are looking. For someone that has been through so much in their life, you, of all people I know, deserve happiness. That's why I can't stop believing that it will happen.





Keep that chin up, handsome. Remember, that we are always here and have never turned away from you. I know it's no true compensation for the lack of intimacy. But, it's a start.





Times like this, make me wished I never left that area you are in. At least then, you would have one person to talk to.





Stay strong. I'll be thinking about you.


ObieGLBT people: I really need some help/advice?
You need something to occupy your mind. Something you enjoy. If your having suicidal thoughts; talk to someone..anyone. Eventually everything will pass and you will feel stronger. But until then, don't give up; find an outlet. Try a journal and write when you feel angry, sad, depressed, happy, excited. Write anything down, your secrets, and hide it.





Works for me. =]
What part of the country are you in? Is there a local PFLAG you could join? Do you like to volunteer? Helping others is a great way to occupy your time and just feel good :) You could try volunteering at an animal shelter or homeless shelter. It's a good way to meet friends.





You could also try Craig's List if you're interested in pursuing romantic relationships.
aren't u going through the process of becoming a male as we speak? things will be better once u have completed the change. am i right? i'm not sure exactly what it is you're going through. i'm sorry. u can email me if u want to talk...
I can't offer you any advise. I'm a mess myself, and any thing I told you you'd be wise to do the opposite. I just want to give you a virtual hug, so you know you're not alone.





((Beaker))
Do not let other people get to you. I know that this is easier said than done, but still, it is worth a try. Also, try picking up something that helps relieve stress. Like Samantha said, get a diary or journal write down your thoughts and feelings. Or, if you can't help yourself, you can still help others. Do volunteer work, the happiness you bring to others with eventually come back around to you. It really helps to know that other people out there are happier because of you. Keep your mind on the good things in life. Remember, things can always change. As for the relationship part, just know that somewhere out there there is a special person waiting. Just imagine a better future, and it will help you get through the present.
I am new to Y!A and know nothing about you... hope i still can be helpful. I had depression and was suicidal in my early teens and to be honest I don't think that medication and psychiatrists ever help. I actually made an attempt and ended locked up in mental hospitaI because they thought I posed danger to myself. Now I seem confident and easy-going and people would never guess what i've been through. I pretty much blocked out a lot of bad memories and moved on. I really feel for you, just can't word it. Please stay strong, you got some good advice from other people. Believe me everything will change, your perception of things is kind of deformed at the moment, try to get bigger picture. All we are dust in the wind and a lot of terrible things happen in the world, sometimes it seems like life is only pain and hassle and is not worth living. Think of it this way, what if we live only once, there's no heaven, no hell, no reincarnation. Your life is unique, try to make the most of it. Focus on what you like, venture out more, find a hobby. Some people are narrow-minded idiots, power freaks yet there are also those who inspire you to be a better person.


It's probably better for you not to be in a relationship right now, don't rush things. Find dignity and strength inside yourself and as you change the type of people you attract will change too. A lot of people like you on here for who you are, you are a good person worthy of happiness. And it will come, just don't give up
*hugs* I know what you mean, I've been there, recently in fact.





In January I broke up with my bf of eight years. Shortly after, I got involved with a younger man who only ended up using me for sex. My friends started ignoring me I've been depressed, manic, suicidal, all the things you're describing. I got to the point where I gave up, and resigned myself to being alone.





Sometimes things drop in your lap when you least suspect it.





My advice? I understand you're lonely, but this isn't the best mindset to start a relationship with someone in. Take comfort on your friends and loved ones, we're here to support you no matter what you go through, without judgment or reservation.





There are no absolutes in life, and pain, no matter how pervasive, is never permanent. What you need right now are people to help prop you up until you are strong enough to stand on your own. Feel free to email me if you like, I'm near my computer nearly 24-7.





Just remember you're loved, even by people who just read your posts here. %26lt;3
Support groups there are others out there in your situation there are lots of depressed people out there. Just being able to relate to someone in your same situation will make things easier to cope with. Its not easy to come out of it either it takes more than just medicine. It will take willpower. You need a close friend or someone in your life that can give you constant positive reinforcement. Hopefully there is someone you can confide in.
Sometimes you may feel like you're the only person on the planet that feels this way. Its nice to come on here and see that its not as rare as you would think. I personally cannot fully relate but maybe just a bit where I feel lonely and sick of the people around me.


If you give up now, nothing is going to help anything and definitely nothing will change..at least not right away. Be the best person you can be. Don't let others make you feel down--those people have nothing better to do. People are always going to be idiots and then there are those who make life worth living. I'm sure you'll find somebody in time :)





Anyone can make a difference right? even small. Imagine how that would feel... I don't know if I've helped but don't give up. Thanks
have you tried letting everything in youre past fade away and start over fresh?





depending on where you live, it might help if you moved to a more lgbt friendly place where people arent as questionable.





and awww ((HIGS))





therapy might help. but you have to do youre part too. dont just expect the therappy to work, you have to put in an effort. try foing out with some friends, have fun.





as for relationships. join as t group and get to know them. maybe there a hottie who is single or something. join an lgbt group. meet people. make new friends. dont hold back and go for it.





if you meet someone. its up to you to tell them first thing abiout you or let them know you then tell them. its hard to say which on eis better but i would let them get to know me and then tell them. might help to keep them around.but then again its no bodies business. you are you. youre sex doesnt make you you.lol its just youre sex.it doesnt make you who you are.





being angry at yourself is never good. find an activity so you can release that anger like boxing or running.
Beaker, you just took the first step. You've expressed to those people who care about you how you're feeling. It's not easy making your outsides match your insides I get that even if I don't completely understand being trans.





Talk to us, we're here to help you, just like you've helped other in the past. You've been a strong guy for those who needed it, now the best advice that I can give is to be strong enough to accept the love and help that's being offered by so many on here.





Like Spooky said, you are loved! %26lt;3
What can you do, what can you do...





I try to think about the positive side of whatever is going on when I feel like crap. Usually there are a lot of positive things that have happened in what I've seen as negative.





For example when it comes to getting sexual I get really uncomfortable because of my body. I hate when I'm touched in anyway that I feel is feminine. On occasion my current partner has mentioned that my ';chesticles'; will be missed, which made me cry. The plus side is that at least I have somebody that will miss them.





Dating is hard to start with, so when you're trans it gets that much harder. Our bits are wrong, so we feel bad about that to start with, and when you want to be in a relationship but the other party says they don't want you because they're not a lesbian or whatever...it's just what you've been trying to separate yourself the whole time is biting you in the ***.





So positives would be well you've at least partially transitioned physically/hormonally, and fully (for the most part from what I know) transitioned socially.





Those are HUGE steps for T-guys. Look at how far you've come.
Hi Scientist. It took a lot of courage to bare your soul like that, if even over the internet. You seem to be a bag of contradictions right now. I can relate to that. I'm sorry for the pain you feel. I am also familiar with being in such an overwhelming sense of despair that the thought of ending life is actually a bit of a mood lifter. That's not a good place to be.





Since I'm aware that the longer a response is, the less likely it is to get read, let me cut to the chase. ';What can I do?'; you ask. You will have to look at things for the first time; things that you thought you had figured out and have already developed long-standing conclusions on. The path your life is on has not satisfied the deep deep longing within you and you must..must begin to honestly evaluate the reasons why. Why does sexual conquests not satisfy but only leave me feeling the satisfaction expected slipped through my fingers, like trying to grab a handful of jello. What is that glimmer of longing in my soul for something deeper than what my past relationships have given me. Can it truly be found in an individual or will that be a source of endless and ever increasing frustration.





Two people who come together looking for each to fill a hole in the other, soon find out their personal abyss remains. A healthy whole relationship is composed of two healthy whole individuals.





You are broken as we all are or have been and you must become whole. You will not find this in an earthly romantic relationship. Those are gifts from God, but they are not the substance of our wholeness. Try to drop stereotypes and aversions to God brought on by some who claim to represent Him.





If the path you're on has led to a dead end, re-evaluate one that you have rejected. It may hold the key to eternal life and your wholeness.





Sorry if this sounds like mumbo-jumbo. I'm trying to tread lightly here. Feel free to email if you'd like to chat.
Ok, take this for what it is worth. You need some transcendence - time to get out of your head. I suggest any of the following: volunteer work - a hospice, doing housecleaning for seniors or those who are house bound, visit lonely seniors trapped in a state funded housing complex; get cheap tickets to live theatre - invite a stranger to come with you; buy a pet, or, better yet, go volunteer at an animal shelter; check out community newspapers; exercise to the point of breaking a sweat. And the hardest: stop beating yourself up over the ';trans'; thing - it's done (I presume), get on with life - yeah, surprise, it didn't answer all your problems. Life is long; there's a lot to do!



Riley honey I know you feel. everything seems so empty and bleak, but sweetie you can't focus on what is bad and wrong with your life. You have to focus on what is good and right. You might think there is nothing good about you or your life, but there is. A lot in fact. Riley I don't even know you that well and I can see that you are a sweet guy who is smart and funny and very genuine. You are the kind of guy that me or any other girl would lucky to have loving her. If other people can't see that then I seriously feel sorry for them missing out on such a wonderful guy(witch is rare in this world). Yeah we will always be trans but we will also always know who our true friends are and who really loves us. I hope you start feeling better and start seeing how great you are, because I do see how great you are.
Wow. I mean you're always here GIVING the advice, I'm surprised you kept this pent up. Do you have people around you to talk to? Sometimes letting it all out and crying on someone's shoulder can help. People are idiots, and I wish I could just give you a hug.





The problem with life is we all have problems. That's inevitable, but unfortunately you seem to have more downs than ups. This, if nothing else, emphasizes the ups in life. Concentrate on the good things, live for the moment and go from one happy moment to the next. Things that get you down you can take steps to eradicate from your life.. and the rest is intuition.





Bestest of luck. I'm an email away if you wanna talk more. I don't always check the mail but I'll try to remember.
I want you to know that my heart goes out to you because it seems like you are really going through a lot right now.


Please dont feel that there is nothing in this world for you because there is and there are people I am sure who love you and support you in everything you do. I know from experience what it is like to deal with psychs and meds and I want you to know that you have a support system out there and you just have to embrace it. I know a lot of people on here would gladly lend an ear for you to vent all your frustrations and pains. I would truly listen if you would ever want to talk.


Just remember that you are beautiful and if you need anything you can always message me and I will listen, I will not judge you I will listen and let you get some of those feelings off your chest. I want you to know I am being sincere and hope you have all the best.
The greatest difficulties with depression are that you self-focus too much and withdraw from the world at large.





Medication can be a life-saver if and only if it allows you to turn away from these destructive compulsions and focus on good counseling (Which should help you think outside of your narrow indulgence of worthlessness and engage the world on a daily, and constructive, basis.





As I have said before, this is not an easy task, but the key is twofold: chose to action instead of passive self-reflection and focus your energies on helping others rather than your self. Seek counseling if you are unable to do this on your own.



Love your self, if you don't love your self, how can you expect others to do the same?





All of your issues seem to be stemmed from you not loving yourself. Hon love yourself, for your own sake. If you do that you won't be so lonely any more. And stop being ashamed of who you are! Yes it seems odd to say that but that is what I see from your description. People are going to give you sh!t about every thing. If its not about being trans, it would be about something else. Just don't let them bring you down.





Besides you are so hung up on the trans issue that you are forgetting about the smart man you are! There is more to you than being trans, how many people do you think actually could work the lab like you do?