I am asking married people because I think that they will have the best advice?

Okay so I am a single mom of two fantastic kids one is 4 and the other is 7. They are great they listen and they are two bright children.





Anyways there dad just sends child support and never sees them which is fine. He moved away and has started a new life with a women that loves him. We don't even talk he just mails me a check monthly.





Anyways lately I have been trying to date again when it comes to that I do not want to date guys that have kids because most of the time their exes start problems and since I will not bring any extra problems from my exe I don't think that I should have to endure that.





My mom says that this is wrong and I should give everyone a chance if they have kids or not.





Is it wrong for me not to want to date guys with kids because I have two of my own?I am asking married people because I think that they will have the best advice?
You have every right to date who you want, kids or no kids. Nothing wrong with it.I am asking married people because I think that they will have the best advice?
I won't date men with children either and I have 3. That's a personal choice, I don't owe anyone and explanation and neither do you.





Everyone has personal choices in who they date....there's different reasons and this one is no different.





To the person that made the comment, ';what if a man felt the same way about you';....Who cares! That's his choice and he should date a woman with no kids.





This is America....freedom of speech/choice.
UM YA??? YOU have kids. Don't you think your being a little selfish?? How about if all guys felt that way?? That they didn't want to date a woman with kids?? How would you feel?? maybe theres a guy out there in your boat. That maybe theres no problems with the ex. You do what you want. But I think it's really unfair thinking on your part.
It is your choice who you date. Everyone has their own unique set of strengths and weaknesses that they bring with them to a relationship. It is your right to be careful and choosy. Keep your eyes open, though, there is always an exception to every rule. :)
Blended families are very difficult...with lots of compromise. However, how can you expect a man to accept your children when you would not be willing to accept his? You severely narrow your choices. You should keep all of your options open...you may find the perfect mate.
I applaud you for looking to the future and trying to avoid problems in a future relationship. If you end up with a man who has no children, your kids won't have to compete with step-brothers or sisters.
yeah, i think it's a little wrong of you. what if a man with no kids doesn't want you solely because you have kids? i think you give whoever, kids or not, a fair chance. if they do have a lot of ex-drama, then move on before feelings grow.
How would you feel if someone was to tell you this?They didn't want to date you because you had 2 kids and all the problems that come with the ex.
Yes, so what if the guy has kids, I agree with your mom. In these times and days it might be hard to find a guy who wants to take on a women with 2 kids. Everyone does deserve a chance.
You should give them the benefit of the doubt. They might have an ex that is gone as well. Just because they dont' have kids doesn't mean they are any better for you than a man with kids.
It is wrong of you to date anyone until your youngest turns 18. You need to focus on raising your children, not dating, shacking up or marrying someone.
you can date whoever you want! you are narrowing the prospects, that's all your mom is concerned about.
don't be offended by guys that don't wanna date you b/c you have kids then
What if every guy thought the same way your thinking?



as a single dad of a teen also, its makes it a lot easier to look at others that have been down the kids road also. they under stand a lot more the issues with it. good and bad.


by middle age a lot are ether going to have kids or not. [ or they have kids and they Don't want them] while the ex's can make some complication's its more gauging how they act them self's. [ are they nuts] but do keep in mind that a lot of single guys that have not had kids will not look at your for long term dating, other then a weekend thing. you are hopefully looking at long term,, though weekends are fun for a while also...


meetup.com http://www.plentyoffish.com/



Nope it's quite ok!


I had 2 kids when started dating my now husband. He was never married before and has no kids. I will tell you now he bonded with them pretty quick and to this day considers them his own. (he has adopted them) There is no ';step'; used in our household.





If he would have had kids before ';US'; I know it would have been different.





You do what you prefer and what makes you happy, quite honestly I don't blame you for wanting to not deal with any exes. It's not wrong to prefer a man that has no kids. That just makes you a woman who knows what she wants and doesn't want.
There's nothing wrong with knowing what you want and going after that. You are absolutley right about the fact that alot of exes do seem to make life hell for their ex husbands. Why would someone want to put themselves through that drama? I think most do because they fall in love and are willing to put up with it.


I would however keep looking for a decent type with no kids, but if one with kids did present himself I wouldn't turn him away just because he has kids. Your mum is right you don't know unless you give them a chance, and you never know, he could have a well behaved ex! Good luck.
I am a single guy with two kids in tow and I am an awsome catch. I take care of my own and am independent and I would never ask a date or relationship to deal with my baggage.


I feel that people that are good parents and active with their childrens lives are some of the most kind, unselfish and caring people on the planet.


Now, this all said, you chose an undesireable mate that has turned his back on his children. Could it be that you are unknowingly seeking the same selfish qualities for your next mate. Just something to think about.
Did you even read what you just wrote?





';most of the time their exes start problems';





You realize, you are someone's ex-wife as well, don't you? That you're possibly one of those crazy women you're talking about?





Love is love is love, and it happens between two people who are compatible, trust and respect each other. To discount over half the population because their previous marriage didn't work is just wrong.





That said, you have every right to decide what you will and won't put up with - it's your life. But before you start crossing people off the list, remember that YOU have kids and aren't bringing ex-husband baggage to the table - why wouldn't you allow someone else the same courtesy?
I have two children from my first marriage, their father passed away. I am remarried now and he has one child. I do get frustrated because we have to deal with his ex-wife her husband and ex in laws. I feel like my husband got to step into the role as dad without any complications from outsiders. He is a good dad to them and I am so grateful, however when his son comes over there is always jealousy among the kids, his son's mother always starts stuff and complicates holidays. There have been times that I wish I would have married someone that didn't already have kids. My situation is different than yours but I understand what you are saying. Bottom line, I believe people come into our life for a reason. When you meet the right person it won't matter if they have children or not. Good luck and just listen to your heart.