Christians: How do you deal with negative people? I could really use this advice?

I hate being having to confront negative situations. I鈥檓 working on my spirituality and trying to be a better person each day etc. However, my son鈥檚 grandmother who lives in a different state is making this very difficult for me. She came to visit recently, took my son to visit the other side of the family (drug dealers, smokers, they swear the all the time etc.) but I let her because her son (my sons dad) passed away during my pregnancy. I doubted they would do anything bad in front of my son but when he came home, he told me his uncles were ''breaking and smoking brown cigarettes'' there. He is very young so I knew he was telling the truth and couldn鈥檛 make something like that up...plus, someone who was there at the time confirmed it was true. I told her she can no longer take him but if she and other family members want to come to my house and visit, that鈥檚 fine.Christians: How do you deal with negative people? I could really use this advice?
Just stand your ground, sister. Your absolute highest priority is to be the best mother you can. If other people don't agree with your decisions, that's just too bad. Being a Christian requires courage, as you know. Christ is our ultimate example in that respect. Doing the right thing will often cause others to resent us, but we have to press on anyway.





I think you need to say it point blank, ';this is how it's going to be. I'm sorry you don't like it but that's my decision and I'm not going to argue about it. You can raise your kids the way you want but I'm in charge of mine. God is not going to judge you based on how I raise my kid, he's going to judge me, so I've got to do what I think is right.';





If she can't deal with that without getting nasty, then maybe you need to cut off contact with her.





Courage! Being positive doesn't always mean being nice, it means doing what's right.Christians: How do you deal with negative people? I could really use this advice?
What exactly is breaking brown cigarettes?
Think positive! in Christ of course.








God loves you......God bless
Life includes negative situations and people. It's unrealistic to think that you are never going to encounter them.


Work on controlling your response to them.
Being a loyal Christian and a great parent are two in the same. You are his mother and responsible for his upbringing. You have the responsibility of setting up the standards by which your son will be raised. It would be nice if his grandmother was more understanding of your concerns but whether she ever is or not, you know what your job is.





edit: Do you realize that if it can be proven that you knowingly allowed your son to be in the presence of people who use illegal drugs, he can be taken from you and made a ward of the state?
How old is your son. There are plenty of cigs out there with odd color paper. Without proof ( other than thinking you know what it is) how can you presume to ';know'; what it is.





Don鈥檛 get me wrong I'm in a similar situation with my ex wife. I have no proof that she IS smoking but I have instructed my children to dial 911 if the find her doing it.





Even so, I've tried VERY hard to insure that my differences with her are handheld in ways to insure that I do not directly involve myself in any conflict that involves the need to involve legal action. Such as calling guidance counselors. That way if there is any need to investigate its done by people other than myself and will not effect my relationship with the children, or give them feelings of guilt.





I hope this helps and good luck
Ignore them.
Boy, that's a tough one. I understand that you don't want to deprive your son of a relationship with his grandmother, but at the same time, you want to protect him, right? Is that the gist of it?





Well, why not compromise? Tell your son's grandmother that you don't want him deprived of a relationship with her, but that you also don't want him exposed to things like what he was exposed to. Even if he ';didn't understand'; what he was seeing, he could still tell a teacher or someone else in a position of authority, and it's entirely possible you could lose your son, and his grandmother could lose the chance to have a relationship with him.





I'm sure his grandmother doesn't want that, and I KNOW you don't. So make sure she understands how real this situation is, and the worst case scenario.





Your son's life, health, and happiness are a million times more important than anything else, including his relationship with the other side of the family. If his grandmother refuses to see reason, unsupervised visits should cease being an option, which I see you've already considered.





That's what I would do, anyway. I wish you the very best of luck, and I hope this helped.
You're the parent. Do what's best for your son. Don't worry about anyone else and you will make the right choices. Always put your kids first.
Ask the Lord for help and guidance in dealing with them. That is the only advice I can give which is safe.
Being a Christian doesn't mean being ';nice'; it means being true. It would be unchristian to allow your son to become a victim of such behavior. Do not let the name Christian become a euphemism for Easy-to-manipulate.
I'm not a Christian but I think you should be blunt and tell her outright that you do not agree with the situation she put your son in and be honest and truthful with her. Do not let her bully you and stand up for what you believe in. It is YOUR son and its down to you to be a good mother.
Do your best to be Christian to her. Love her. But in the end he's YOUR son. And you have 100% control over where he goes and who he sees. You have taken the right position. DO not back down for the sake of your son.
Jesus at times was not very gentel to the false religion leaders .Standing for God is a real battle with evil.She may love your son but has very poor judgement to take a child there.Your in charge of him and have a God given mission to raise him to know God . Her wishes ,are that just wishes.I admire your loving attitude on allowing her visiting rights but that is not parental rights and she'll confuse him .Scripture says that bad association can spoil useful good habits.If she wants to fight, then limit communication to the mail ,and that will certainly cut down the ranting.Just set your spiritual goals with much prayer and then enforce them.You can give her a written list of what you expect from one associating with your son. May the True God guide and light your way spiritually. www.watchtower.org
Tough situation to be in. As a parent you are responsible for your childs safety. There is no reason why you should be ';all christian nice'; and allow someone to hurt your son. Being a christian does not mean you are a door mat! You are to be loving, but firm. Pray for your sons family, pray for the circumstances, and pray for your son. Protect him first, don't worry about the christian image you project. I don't think this family will react favorably to that image anyhow. So stand tall, be firm, take a strong hand, and stand your ground. There is no reason to let yourself be blackmailed by emotions from these people and to feel that you owe them something. You don't owe them a thing.
it seems like you are doing the best job you can right now. obvously your son has an attachment to his Grandmother, but your word comes first in his life.


Keep praying for her and also pray that you will be able to handle it better. We christians cannot change other peple, thats Gods job. We can pray


if you go to church, it would not hurt to put her name on a prayer list of your church has one.
Sometimes, as a Christian and a parent, we have to be willing to stand up and take some heat for what we believe and how we want to our children to be raised. That means saying ';no,'; and making it stick.





Pray for calm and strength as you deal with your child's grandmother. Do not let yourself be drawn into an argument. State your case, and keep restating it and rely on God's strength and love to keep you strong.
She has a funny way of showing she loves him. Would anyone who loved children let them stick a fork in an electrical socket? I don't think so. What it boils down to is this person would dump your kid at the first sign of trouble from you.
it is hard, no that you will not be able to shield your child forever so you should teach him those things are wrong to do. and you need to do it as early as he can understand it because if you try to hide things from him someone else is bound to show him and i think it is better if he learns from you.
The only Good inside us is Love and that Love is from our Father God ,Jesus our Lord and Savior.We must Love one another it is a Commandment.Not if all people are perfect,


without fault.Look past the negatives and see God's Love.


Love conquers all.No one wants to be judged.We are all sinners.If you ask in Jesus name for this wisdom it shall be done.Amen.I will pray for you..Anger breeds contempt.


Signed:Addie
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