I need peoples Advice!?

Well i already posted this but people want me not to capitalize blah blah blah... so heres my story... okay iam currently in a relationship with my boyfriend; whom i really love and know he is the one. we've been dating for a while now. We talk about marriage WE ARE NOT going to marry soon but you know how it is. so anywho my mom and sister always burst my bubble! My mom was married and he left her cheated on her and physically abused her and same as thing happened to my grandma. So now my sister recently got married to a guy 15yrs older then her... he totally turned out to be a total different person. so they always brag to me about how i shouldn't get married and tell me things to change my mind. I'am 18yrs old and plan to get married maybe in a year or two. for Valentines day he bought me a georgous ring and i sort of think my sister is jealous i dont know why but i feel that way... FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE am happy and they always kill it. my mom always talks bad about men because of her marriage then how my dad did her wrong he left us for his other family.


so i always thought bad about men but now that i met my boyfriend it turned my feelings around about how i feel about men. i honestly think he wont change which my sister and mom assure me he will.


We thought about getting married through civil without telling anyone and i dont know am getting scared and having second thoughts i want my family to be their i want it to be beautiful . Everyone who is married gives me bad advice. i need to know is their hope? are all marriages really that bad?... he asks me if i see a future with him and i dont know what to answer i do. But after hearin my mom so much i dont know what to think? am confusedI need peoples Advice!?
take the time to get to know your BF and make triple sure you aren't making the family mistake of marrying someone who will be bad for you.





your family history is rife with women who choose poorly and growing up with that example you can't help but instinctively repeat their bad behaviors when choosing your mate. So you need to make sure you are not repeating their mistakes.





Once you are sure that you have chosen wisely then you have to ignore the nay sayers. When they make complaints about your BF, don't go on auto defense mode of him and pay close attention to what they tell you is wrong so you can make sure that you have chosen wisely.





I understand your frustration. My mother had a really crappy history with men. I made sure that I learned from her mistakes. I knew that where men were concerned that my mother's opinion was worthless. If I brought someone home to meet the family and my mother didn't like him, I knew I chose right because I listened to her reasons why she didn't like someone and basically I was picking guys that if she had been dating she would have never picked. and even in the rare occasion I did pick someone who passed her shallow values, once she got to know him, she'd reject him again because he didn't meet her shallow criteria for who she would have chosen for herself. As long as I knew I was picking men she wouldn't want then I knew I was picking the right men for me. (mom liked hotties and never looked past the surface and was only concerned with how things looked to the outside world. She never paid attention to things like character and values and common interests so she always wound up with smoking hot wealthy self involved jerks who mistreated her and cheated on her. My dates were never good looking enough, were never wealthy enough, were too short, too thin, too fat, not white enough, too smart, blah blah blah)I need peoples Advice!?
You have to have a church wedding and your family has to pay for it.
If you love him and see a future with him, what;s the big rush? Wairt til you are financially stable and on your own at age 25. It NEVER hurts to wait...but rushing into it can be a disaster.
Not every man is going to abuse you. That's like saying every man is a cheater or a liar, or no good. Would you stop listening to all the poisonous bullsh*t. They are going to keep filling your head with crap and you need to tell them to cut it out.


I have a fabulous marriage. A great life, wonderful children. There is no abuse. There are no lies. There is no cheating. So no marriages are not all bad.





There are both bad men and women out there. I am sure your mom was just as much to blame for the failure of her marriage. I'm sure it just wasn't his fault. Same goes for your sister.
how old is he and how long have you been with him??





you are very young to be engaged and unless he is much older you are waaay too young, even in a couple years, to be getting married.


sorry but i wouldnt break it off but wait a few years.
I think you are heading into a path of divorce and abuse. Every woman in your family was abused, and if you want to get married early and ruin your life, you will be abused too.





Instead, leave him, get an education,enjoy your youth,and be single!
I totally understand,my mom goes based off her and my fathers relationship as well and i just feel that your mom sister and you should have a real talk on it and you have to explain respectfully how it bothers you and that yall are two different people and you dad and your boyfriend are also 2 different people.And you have to look at it like this too i mean as quick as you fell in love you can fall out i would wait atleast a couple more years i say 22 because with marriage comes responsibility ans you have to cut out things you may enjoy to prevent problems .ex:if you like to party he might too but after a while u may get curiou bout if he enjoy it to much or he may think that of you and lets say u get pregnate its more stress due to not a stable marriage and fustration but i say that im glad you are happy in a relationship and as long as he loves you like you love him yall will and can make it well hope this helps best of luck bye
you are going to hear that you are too young as most of your answers. well its true. you don't know if you are in love. i am divorced myself. i thought i was. i got married to my high school sweet heart. i waited three years before i asked her to marry me. your mother and sister have lived longer than you have, they have more experience about life than you do. you need to listen to them. i know right now you are like ';they are just jealous bc i got something good.'; look at one point of their life they did too, that's why they got married. as a guy i have to be honest, its hard to be married and not get urges to do things with other girls, but i wasn't the one who cheated. anyway, as a guy i have to say we are a$$holes, not all of us but the majority of us are. I should have listen to my mom, but i was stubborn and ignorant. you might want to listen to them they are only telling you for your own good. marriage changes a lot of things, and more responsibility. it is a journey that both of you have to go through. if one of you isn't willing, then it wont work.