I want muslims peoples advice?

i amin love with a married man he is muslim. i have been with him for 8 years. we have one child together, which is 5 years old. his wife knows about me and our child. his wife has accepted our child to go and same at the house where she lives with this man i am inlove with. as hes still with his wife. he has three children with his wife and one is married off. but he said he needs to marry off his other two children off before he can be with me and that will be a few years yet? are muslim familys like this ? is it a must? and why does his wife accept this whole **** when she knows he will always see me behind her back and know about us. she just keeps taking him back and he always chooses her over me . is he there for the children or is he there because off his wife?I want muslims peoples advice?
Dont do it!!!


You are best out of it all!!





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqHUdwePf鈥?/a>I want muslims peoples advice?
Hi to you,


I am not a religous person, and do not know much about the beliefs of Muslims...But.. he has informed you he needs to marry off his other two children off before he can be with you.


Therefor He must be practsing the religon of a Muslim..I think..


Yet in those beliefs does it not state,he should only be with/marry a person of the same religon.


And all other religons are ...some word cannot think of it at mo; but traslated means 'rubbish' (and that is polite translation)


He is probably with wife as she is excepted by his Famiy, he may be able to beat her, goodnes knows!


His wife may even be happy he has you, at least he don't bother her so much.


He is there,as he can have good Muslim Family, seen by Family/etcetera...great Husband and Daddy.....(Albeit I think not..) in the community.


Plus He has you, and unfortunately you state you love him.


I don't know if He loves you as a Man should love a woman, do you think he loves he's Wife? The Mother of His precious Children!!!!


IF (A BIG IF) you ever really got him, he would do toyou what he is doing to his wife...


This is only what I think...natually I could be wrong, but I think you should try to stop loving him, I know it will be hard..... but there are many nice single guys with no ties out there.





I got two handsome single Sons....any offers.............lol :-)


Good Luck to you.
hes having his cake and eating it-who wouldnt -he does because you allow him to
Sorry I am not muslim but I would like to offer you advise. I would suggest that if your man still puts his wife first it is because he has more respect for her than he does for you. I think that you should leave well alone and find a single man who wants to be with you and you alone. I am sure that your daughter will have a brighter future if she is just visiting dad at his house and not seeing him get the best of both worlds. As I said I am not muslim but I am certain that this is not the way regular muslim families conduct there lives. I have to say his wife must be something to put up with this behaviour from her husband. Before you go any futher consider your daughter and ask yourself if your daughter was treated like this by a man in her adult years would you be happy. Then remember that your daughter thinks this is how normal family life is. Think of that man's wife as well daoes she deserve to be treated like this ?
allah says in the quran...'; marry women of your choice, one , two, three up to four, BUT if you cannot do justice between them, marry ONLY one.';....its clear there is no justice he is giving for both of you..if he spend a night with his first wife, he MUST also spend a night with you, and if he buys a candy for his first wife, he should buy a candy also for you. he should not treat you as a mistress. a muslim can have 4wives (with equal justice) but not a mistress. if your married to him , you are legally entitled to ALL THE RIGHTS the first wife has together with your children, THAT IS IF YOUR MARRIED TO HIM LEGALLY IN ISLAM, but if your not, you are still a mistress, its HARAM( sin) for him and for you to live together.
In Islam there's no hokey pokey outside of marriage. As the bit on the side you are and always will be a non-entity. Even when the dude's children are grown up and spewing forth babies, he will say that he 'has stay and provide for his first wife, or Allah will strike him down and it'll be all your fault'.





If you wanted rights you'd have asked him to marry you (polygamy will afford you certain rights in Muslim countries).





He is getting his cake and eating it, and you are demented enough to believe he respects or loves either one of his women.





He wants comfort, not truth or love. If you were clever you'd tell him to take a hike.
Oh girl. No, Muslim families are not like this. Abusive, messed-up, self-centered men and the women who love them are like this. His wife clearly has no self-respect, and you are hanging on to a pipe dream if you think that he will ever marry you. Married men who fool around with other women--Muslim, Christian, Athiest, whatever--are not typically interested in serious relationships with those women. He has a child with you and he is not married to you? He has to get his other children married off first? He is feeding you a line. Even if he married you ';islamically';, it would likely not be acceptable according to Islamic law (are you a widow or orphan? Is there a shortage of marriagable men for you? Is he going to provide you with exactly the same financial and emotional support that he provides his other wife? Didn't think so.)





I think that women who accept being in a plural marriage in a society where that is not legally recognized, such as the US, are quite foolish, and I say that as a Muslim woman. You will have no rights as a second wife under US law, and he will not be accountable to you in any way (though he is accountable for helping to support your child with him).





He's using his family as an excuse for his unwillingness to commit to you, and since he is obviously incapable of even commiting to his ACTUAL, LEGAL wife, why do you think he would commit to you, even if he left her?
1st off all I assure you not all muslim families like this. its his wife right to be jealous from you. imagine your self in her situation! you will hate the other woman and will try your best to let her go.


I advise you to try to talk to him cleary and if it needed talk to his wife.





Good Luck
Hi,





Alrite , being a muslim il tell you why..


the first thing is that , in our religion we dont date ppl if we ARE married , seems like this guy is nuts to fall for you , and to be honest we will mostly end up never living with you...because he has childern from his first marriage..


Please dnt take me wrong but muslim guys dont get enough out of there wife thatswhy y they run after other women ,


and later dump them because they've had enough..





The wife will never let her husband walk towards you because we as muslim's dnt break our relations no matter wht happens..So the best advice to you my freind is your best to dump him before he dumps you..





Im nt being rude or anything.. just saving you frm what mite be cuming.. Once the guy has had enough out of you.( uve got his child now) he will probly find someone else and see them behind ur backk.. and then you can feel how his wife feels..





Asian guys never have enough off a women .. they think '; the more the merry'; ...So if i was you id think about it...





Ok wht made you thinnk youu would want to ruin someones happy married life..we all know love is blind but didnt you think what the outcome will be if he is married , woulld you want to be sitting there and waiting for a man who is still with this first wife and children..If the guy has kids.. he is surely having a great life... so in other words ur his time pass not his need , if ur were his need then he would come to you without thinking how may children he has to marry off, coz then that wouldnt be him problem..





You and Your child would be his priopty if he really loved you..


because if my husband was dating someone behind my back i wouldnt really bother cuz then wen he dumps her , she will realise wht it is like to break sumone's married life...





Hope this helps you.. Just saw ur questions and felt like giving you a honest answer to wht we see in our daily life as muslim's..





Good Luck..





Take care..
In our religion he is allowed four wives on one condition and that is to treat them equally.As in all religions we are not allowed to have an intimate relation outside weddlock,to have one that's a big mistake and not only is he doing this but also had a child too,being in his wife shoe I would look the other side and let him do what he wants as long as he is doing all and I mean all his duties.He is using his children as an excuse so think about it.
i am sorry if this will hurt you but I think you have been stupid. I am not sure if u are a muslim but as far as I am aware Islam protects the rights of women. I am a muslim feminist and dont take **** from men because in my opinion most muslim men do not potray true Islam. You have allowed yourself to be used. Your relatiuonship with this man is Haram. What have u been looking at for the past 8 years. His wife is a wise woman and knows how to keep her man. In Africa where I come from, we have very endurant women who dont care who their men see as long as He is married only to them. Such women exhibit a high level of diplomacy and tact.





If he really wants you he would have married you years ago. He is even asking you to wait till he marries off his kids. What gives u the assurance he will act as promised? My dear wake up and wipe off this 'love' thing off your head. We women fall in love 'stupidly' and blindly. You should not take abuse from any man. I still maintain my stand and say you have been used. May Allah forgive me but in my opinion this man is not practising proper Islam.





Either you ask him to marry you NOW, come to see your parents and ask for your hand in marriage or walk away from this sinful relationship, ask Allah for forgiveness and guidance and start your life afresh.





I am a very emotional person and fall in love easily but I will never trade my dignity or self respect for anything. If a man thinks I am of value, then he should make me his bride!





May Allah help you.