Seriously....i help people....STOP reporting me, i just want advice.??

-_- i am writting a poem for this guy i like, and when he reads it, he wont know that its about him (we're both writters and we talk all the time) plz give me advice on if i need to change/get rid of/add anything. thanx.this is NOT a lovey dovey poem.





';breaking dawn, breaks my heart.


you'd have to take away all my abuse.


turn this madness into art.


for my expression stays hidden.





i hate myself for doing this.


too many truths


and the after taste is akward.





a blend of colour.


to spark a fire


seaching


for what i'll never find.





(unfinished)Seriously....i help people....STOP reporting me, i just want advice.??
Great poem certainly better than i could ever do i would say almost perfect but the second paragraph - i hate myself ...and so on needs some more work so when you say it the you don't have to think about the rhythm it just comes to you like the rest of the poem absolutely brilliant!





Well Done!Seriously....i help people....STOP reporting me, i just want advice.??
One way to post your poems and not get the reported is to ask ';Can you help me improve?'; or something along those lines... this is what the Y/A officials told one of my friends... I hope that it helps you get your poems through in the future...
I think you've done it! It is very sad and to the point. I'm sorry you're are having such a confusing, conflicting, agonizing relationship! I hope you find some happiness.
akward. ...?








You're doing it wrong.
My opinion that I posted on this the 2nd time you posted still stands... Brilliant! I have very little critique that I can offer...





Blessed Be in the Second Time Around, Siren

applying eyeshadow